360Flex and the Labriola Vineyards

Taking a break from Conference planning, and writing Flex apps, Tom and I went wine tasting in MI. Actually I went wine tasting, Tom doesn't drink. Never a fan of drinking alone (not that I'm opposed to it, mind you, but...), we drug our pal Carrot Top. Bet ya didn't know we knew Carrot Top did'ja, we met him in Vegas at MAX '06. Great guy, a bit strange when he pulls something weird out of a pocket, 19 egg beaters tied together with dental floss? Weird. Anyhoo.


We're about three wineries into our little tour when we caught sight of Michael Labriola chatting with one of the vintners  over in the corner. "Hey Mike!! What're you doing here!?" Tom calls over. CT and I grab our tasting glasses and follow Tom over.


"Oh, hey guys. Enjoying this years vintage?" he says good buy to his friend and joins us at a small table.


"Check this out, it's for when you've been drinking too much and can't walk straight." CT pulls out a converse high top with some sort of support struts coming out of it, presumably for stability.


Tom and I look at CT, then at Mike, then shrug. Tom asks, "So Mike, you excited about 360|Flex San Jose? Who should come to your session?"

Taking a sip of cab sauvignon, "Geeks. People who want to know an insane amount about a narrow topic because, while they currently don’t have an immediate use for such knowledge, they are sure they absolutely will someday. Oh, and I think they are right."



Tom and I nod, Mike's other sessions are are hard core and always get great marks. CT looks over at the counter and pulls out some sort of telescoping arm thing with a wine glass on the end. He smiles and winks at all three of us, "Why should they come?"

Mike's a bit shocked that CT asked the question, Tom and I are too, frankly.

"Because statistically, people that exit my sessions (at its conclusion) are .061 percent cooler than when they entered."

I got up and decided to try the Reisling, I'm a sucker for the sweeter wines. I'm about open my mouth when CT whips out some sort of blown glass contraption and starts pouring his glass into it. Some how it all fits inside, then comes out 2x the volume that went in. Mike and I both stare slack jawed, CT ust nods, "That's right."


Regaining my composure, what's let after so many glasses, I ask, "What's the goal of your session?"


Mike is still staring at CT, who's showing the people at the next table some sort of inflatable something-er-other, with the Presidents face taped to it. he shakes it off, "Alright, so I am sort of obsessive about certain things. When I learned to cook, I decided I could only do it right If I understood the chemistry behind it. Magic irritates the hell out of me until I understand the trick. Then one day I started using Flex and someone told me ‘just put these stupid curly brackets around your variable and magically update when the data changes.’ Completely and totally unacceptable. I had to know why, get in the middle of it, figure out how it works, break it, fix it…. You know, normal stuff. So, this session is about taking all of the magic and wonderful mystery out of those stupid curly brackets and boiling it down to a tool that you can use, manipulate, break, rebuild, hang out with, you know, normal stuff."

Tom and I both say, "Sweet" in unison. Now CT is looking at us weird, that's quite a strange feeling, I gotta tell ya. I get up to try the port (my weakness), and Tom asks, "What two sessions are you looking forward to most?"


I bring a glass back for Mike, hoping he doesn't drink port so I can have it, he answers, "I think Alex’s session on versioning support and Renaun’s session on testing, but there are a lot at this conference I actually want to see. Sometimes at a conference you have seen many (most) of the topics presented before, San Jose seems to be a lot of great, fresh stuff. Tom didn’t even pay me to say that."

Truth be told, I write the checks for things like that, but that's neither here nor there.


As Mike tips a sip of a really well ages port, that I was totally hoping he didn't like, I asked him what he'd tell some one that wasn't sure if they wanted to register for 360|Flex San Jose.


"If my sessions makes you .061 percent cool, imagine what might happen if you went to one of the sessions from the cool kids instead?"

Mike's totally right! Coming to a 360|Flex has been statistically proven to increase braininess and over all "let's hire him, he's smart" osity. Oh and we're the best damn Flex Conference out there! Register now, talk wine with Mike! He know's his stuff!